Masked up, chucks on, expressing gratitude. Keeping the fire burning through the dark night. Riding the emotional rollercoaster of an unsure future and living with the stark reality. Eating my vegetables, allowing myself to dream, picking myself back up when my mood turns bleak. Giving myself permission to be depressed. Watching for depression in others I care about. We are all in this together. Always self educating. Don’t take for granted that you know all you need to know.
Reminding myself the value of making and doing and not falling into the routine of immediate self gratification. Thinking for myself and making informed opinions. Knowing how little I know. Excited for the ah-ha moments to come. Suspending my judgements. Not stereo-typing. Listening. Forgiving my family. Learning respect for the lives of those who I cannot understand. Believing that no matter what it is you want it’s just one step forward at a time but always forward and lending a hand when gravity causes backsliding. Knowing each and every one of us has a journey which is all our own.
Looking for positive outcomes. Working at being someone you’d like to know. Not buying into outdated conventions or anyones limited world view. Speaking with my guides. Facing my weaknesses. Because I’ve had a year alone for my self reflection and it has been difficult. Somehow the crushing worst of it seems to have passed. The moments when I didn’t know if I was going to come out of this with a roof over my head. But I have and I did but for the grace of God. For the best of our intentions that have salvaged my modest existence.
Rolling into 2021. Chin up, eyes straight ahead. Soften that gaze. Look toward the future, one of my teachers once said, like you’re NOT trying to scare it away.
